I was at the grocery store the other day and the checkout lady said, "Wow, who has the great cologne on?" I didn't fess up because I wasn't wearing cologne but the guy behind me didn't fess up either. I looked at him and he said, "It's not me." They could tell from the look on my face that it was me they were smelling; either that, or they deduced it was me because they each knew that it wasn't themselves.

So the checkout lady asked me, "So what cologne is it?" and I said, "I'd tell you, but you'll laugh." Now the entire line was paying attention, and I swear to you, they all started saying, "Come on, tell us what it is!"

So I told them: When I cycle to work, I sweat a bit, and there aren't any showers at work or anything, so for the last few days I've been experimenting with wiping off the sweat with baby wipes."

And the checkout lady said, "Well it smells great. I guess it attracts the women because we all love babies." The guy behind me pretended to be impressed at having discovered my "secret".

But don't tell anyone I work with... or if I work with you, don't tell yourself.